Idiot’s Guide to Trans-Siberian Railroad For Dummies

***Author’s note: At the time, this seemed like a great idea for a blog post. Looking at the post now in its final form, I think that it is sufficient evidence for self admission into a mental hospital***

Many of you are probably curious what one does on a train for 134 hours and 23 minutes when you are in a cabin with approximately four stuffed animals and exactly zero other humans. It’s quite simple. So simple, in fact, I’ve coined a phrase. WRODON.

WRODON. Write, Read, Observe out the window, Drink tea, Or Nap. WRODON. Let’s use it in a sentence. “I had a way overpriced borscht in the restaurant car, then I went back to my cabin to catch up on some WRODON.” OR “There was this seriously cute girl in Car 9 that came by for some WRODON last night. She O’d while I R’d, if you know what I mean.”

I know what you are all thinking and the answer is yes. You can do more than one WRODON component simultaneously. Below I’ve included a sample of photos in case you ever decide to take the Trans-Siberian Railroad, or as I like to call it, prison with a view. I also like to call it the Trany, as in, get some food then hop back on the Trany, though that joke was lost in translation on just about everybody I met.

Here you can see me Ring and Ding

Occasionally we will do three at once.

Oscar and I once attempted Wing, Ring, Oing, and Ding simultaneously, though I wouldn’t recommend it.

Despite my noble efforts, I have determined that it is impossible to simultaneously encapsulate all aspects of WRODON. This is due to many factors, not least because Ning requires your eyes to be shut while Ring and Oing, and to a lesser extent, Wing, require your eyes to be open. This is a difficult concept to grasp but very important to understanding while I was never able to achieve the pentagasm of complete WRODON. I would also recommend keep your eyes open while Ding, especially if the tea is piping hot as it was during my failed experiment.


About Grif

Going to Mongolia
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4 Responses to Idiot’s Guide to Trans-Siberian Railroad For Dummies

  1. jkaw says:

    Girf – no need to feel ashamed, I read the long post this morning and thoroughly enjoyed.

  2. Ruchan. says:

    that was awesome to read my friend! I wish we could catch up; i’d love to listen more about this. 🙂

  3. Anne Hoover says:

    Dear Grif- It is a beautiful but rather chilly Saturday morning and i am sipping my coffee and reading this last blog of yours on WRODON. Grif, you are sooooooooooooo funny! Thank you for making my day!! Keep writing…… I am your biggest fan. Love Mrs. Hoover

  4. Rory B says:

    This looks like what i’m about to do. how many girls came for WRODON? Think I might practice this art whilst going from Moscow to Ulaanbaatar.

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