34-Day Bear Hat Hostage Stand Off Comes to an End

In what has been a trying five weeks for team 2BIG2FAIL, the Bear Hat hostage crisis came to a safe conclusion late Wednesday evening when at approximately 8:45PM local time (1:45AM GMT), Bear Hat was safely returned to his residence in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan. “It’s just so good to have him back,” a roommate who preferred to remain anonymous was heard saying. “His disappearance…it just left…a really cold spot on my head.”
In what has become a widely reported media event, Bear Hat Peterson, age 3 1/2, was lent to a sickly friend on the evening of January 19, 2011 after attending the Great Annual Beef Jerkey Jerk Off at the Bell House in Gowanus, Brooklyn. “Everything seemed to be fine,” Grif, age 23 3/4 and proprietor of Bear Hat, noted. “But then after a week or so I realized that the sickly patient had regained her full health but Bear Hat was nowhere to be found.”

Events moved quickly from there and rumors circulated about the whereabouts of B.H. “Reports were coming out that he was stuck in a sock drawer, being dressed up as a girl, all kinds of crazy stuff,” Josh Zickercorn, a social media expert said. Zickercorn added, “I think that this was the first Animal Hat hostage situation to be closely followed by the new media. (ie. Twitter, Facebook, etc.) When people look back on January 2011, between Tahrir Square and Bear Hat, they are really going to view this as the beginning of a media revolution.” The victory of new media was compounded by the fact that many large news publications received a substantial amount of flack for not putting reporters on the ground fast enough. Said one individual who followed the events closely, “It’s ridiculous. For the first time in my life I was finding myself relying on the Animal Hat media to get any decent reporting. They were the ones with reporters on the ground. The New York Times, Washington Post, etc. were always a few hours behind. And a few hours is way too long when [things] are moving as fast as they were.”
Now that Bear Hat is safe at home, Team 2BIG2FAIL is optimistic about the future. “We’re just happy to have our hat back,” Alex added. Team 2BIG2FAIL is taking part in the 2011 Mongol Rally, and the teams’ very livelihood has been put to the test during the past five weeks when the fate of an integral team member was unknown.
The alleged kidnapper was released on bail this morning from a Manhattan district court but was unavailable for comment. It is unclear at this point whether or not she was acting under the authority of beleaguered Libyan President Muammar al-Gaddafi.

Chris Cowen contributed reporting from London; Smriti Chaturvedi contributed reporting from New York.


About Grif

Going to Mongolia
This entry was posted in Alex, Bear Hat, Gaddafi, Grif, Hostage and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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